Below are the 12 most recent journal entries recorded in Amberrrrrr<3's LiveJournal:

Monday, January 8th, 2007
9:21 pm	hokayy; so My life is pretty rad right now. Yeah, my grades pretty much suck, and most of my teachers hate me, but yeah. :] MCR > Lifee. yep; agree or die. :D They can't really comfort me when I just got done being yelled at; but they can put me in a better mood about it. :] Oh well, the parentals were yelling at me for being supposedly retarded. Whatever, I guess I don't really care somehow? Wow, I think I've cried like 3 times in the last two days. Yesterday > life. I cried really, really hard, to the MCR album, TBP, for the whole album through, TWICE. yes, way to let out your emotion, it's quite amazing. :D if you ever want to let emotions go*~ just blast MCR in your bedroom and scream. :D I know, I'm ghey. :D Go get crunk on MCR. :D Yes yes. So, I guess I have two ' real - life ' best friends. :] yes yes. (ewe, i say that too much) and yeah. So Taylor started this "LiveJournal" thingamajigger, and it's like, We write entries about whatever, and then pass it on in a week. I know, it's pretty rad. I think I have it next week. :D uhm, woot? :D Yes, mah' dear friend Kileyyy is going out with Justyn again. :D yayy, I'm happy for her. their going to get married someday, just wait and see. :D yes yes, he's going to her house Saturday. I'm actually excited to see what Taylor might say. Ohh well; Me and her shall hang out all day. :]!! mhmm, yep. Wow, I'm excited. I guess it's just a quick update on my journal, so yeah. <3 Current Mood: cheerful Current Music: My Chem. :D (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, December 30th, 2006
9:33 pm	Hm; It's funny. there's only a few hours left of 2006; which is the best year of my life; let me say. heh; wow. i made so many new friends. i matured so much. i laughed a lot. i cried sometimes. i fell in love. i had a huge heartbreak. i was depressed. there was: good/ - bad/ - horrible/ - treacherous/ - amazing/ - best/ - times. yeah. I realized what i can do; how i feel; how i think. what's worth what. I've learned so much; I pretty much grew up. sad, huh? no; actually, it's not. i've met some amazing people.. like Kiley. dude; you're amazing. you've changed like x4134190841834717 sinse i first met you. hah; i never expected to call you one of my best friends or even an amazing person but here I am, right now. you're amazing, and hanging out with you and Taylor is great, just don't hate me, i've made mistakes, and i'll cover that sometime later. I met Aubrey. uhm; wow. what can I say? Aubrey you are the most amazing person i've ever met in my entire life. okay? god; you have no idea what you can do. you're like; the only person i can say "I hate my life" to, and you say: "I know how you feel" and explain TO ME exactly how i'm feeling. crazy, huh? i'm so glad to have you in my life; i pretty much consider you a best friend because god, you understand and you're just like me in so many ways. don't ever change. --- psst; mcr in lincoln. WE ARE GOING TOGETHER. :] -- i met 'Bee' as I like to call her. she's a lot like me as well. she's always there for me, even if she doesn't understand what i'm saying. i can say anything in the world to her, no matter what, and she'll always reply with a smile. no matter how bad i feel, or how much i want to die, she's one of the only people who will cheer me up. we have our differences and our own opinions, but i think that's why i am who i am now. ..Bee, you've changed the way I think and the way I look at the world, in the greatest of ways. You truely have made a difference in this world, okay? Don't ever feel like you haven't, and no matter what the 'stats' say, you're always one of my best friends in the world. Nothing can stop that. Taylor A. Tayloorrrrrr Joooooo! :]! I guess at first, I didn't know you, or really care to know you. Amberrrr was kinda stupid. You're amazing, and so much fun to hang out with. We should hang out more next year. :] I'm glad I can talk to you, and you can always make me laugh 'till I pee myself. hehehh. =D As for others: Brianna wow; what a time when we were friends. your party was amazing, heh! You were a LOAD of fun to be with. really, i'll give that one. Maybe we could have been friends longer, I dunno. let's not hate each other, please? :] I don't want you to think I'm horrible. Nicole hm. I didn't really get to know you. You might think I'm like retarded for putting you on this, but that's fine. i'm not too worried. we got off on the wrong foot, maybe we should change that. I'm sorry for everything i've said and done that has ever offended you, let's not hate each other either. I think we could be somewhat friends, maybe? the whole Kiley thing was a huge misunderstanding, as I believe. just forget it, maybe? It's a new year; let things change. :] Taylor G hah; I feel sad for putting you up here. you were like, my best friend. and I guess i thought nothing could change that. you know, you're pretty much the reason Brianna and all them hate me? but whatever. I guess life goes on. even though I don't think you truely apologized; (or if you did and I didn't care before, whatever.) but besides; i forgive you. No, I don't trust you or anything, and I probably never will, but whatever. I just hate having an awkward tension between everybody. Quite obviously. . .. .... ...... ........ ...... .... .. . .. .... ...... ........ ...... .... .. . _______________________________________________________________________________ Alright, and as for everybody reading this. You all probably know I've made some dumb mistakes in the past. too many to list; I know. So, in general: I'm sorry. Alrightt? I'm running through the bad times in my mind, don't believe I've forgotten what I've done. I just want this next year to be even more amazing, and maybe have a better time. [for everybody] _________________________________________________________________________________ * *** ****** ********* ****** *** * *** ****** ********* ****** *** * *** ****** ********* ****** *** * *** ****** ********* ****** *** * __________ As I sit here looking through old scrapbooks and yearbooks, I wonder, "What would have happened?" I mean, it's the smallest descisions that make the biggest impact. It's sad. people go around in this world never knowing what could have been and what would have been and what should have been but I guess that's life. ________ I came across a very empowering quote recently that made me think: [the quote:] "It's just... very empowering to actually realize everything around you, what you're a part of, what's going on, and that whatever it is... things are going to get better. I was sitting there, thinking, taking it all in and I couldn't help but think of what's been going on, and realizing that, the sun's going to keep rising. I'm going to keep living. It'll all work itself out in time." - you know who you are. :] [stolen from Raych Ill's profilee:] __ take a look around, right now. what do you see? what are you meant to be doing, at this moment in time? where should you be at right now? is this where you feel comfortable in time? honestly, can you answer that? there's just so many things in this world that are so unusual. look at the way people act. we're crude and disgusting. it's sad, really. to know that we grew/grow up horrible but the way our kids and our grandkids will grow up -is just sickening. it's sad the way people will just say "I don't care" HOW CAN YOU NOT CARE? look at what's happening; maybe if somebody gave a care in this world; it'd be different. and when you took a look around; you could say; "Yeah..This is perfect" and you wouldn't feel out of place. ___________ I've always learned best from the horrible MISTAKES that I've made. I look at the clock on my wall: I've been on this for maybe two hours. [so far, there's a longggg way left to go] yes, this is what I'm meant to be doing. Maybe I'll make everybody have a nice time. Maybe you'll laugh at this and say "She's crazy" Maybe you'll not care about what I have to say about this world and this life and how time goes by. Maybe you will. Hey, you never know until you try.. Am I right? Learning from time/mistakes, I know things that are going to happen in the future. Maybe by saying, "I'll do this" and if you don't go through, but you try your hardest, then maybe, just maybe, you'll fail next time. but you never know until you try.. Am I right? Only time will tell Mistakes will be made; Tears will be shed; Thoughts to create; Oh, what a wonderful thing! At the end of the pain; for all the suffering; Nothing's too late. ________ There's a first for everything, Am I right? Nothing's impossible, and I've learned that from experience. people go about the world saying "it's a horrible place" and "nothing will go all right" I agree; completely and whole heartedly; but maybe if someone in this world would even CARE to TRY then MAYBE just MAYBE you'll succeed. but you never know until you try.. Am I right? "It's not that you don't care, it's that you don't care to" - 'Emo Kitty Kylie' <3 _______________________________________don't tell me i'm not making any sense__________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ wow; I can see myself maturing just from this stupid entry. no; nevermind. it's not stupid. :P It's just that FAST>>> the way some people can just know something or feel something it's a matter of SECONDS>>> until you know what you're doing with your life but you never have enough TIME>>> to decide the SPEED>>> of your TORTURING>>> or your RE-OCCURRING>>> THRILL RIDE. You're the conductor; you can stay on track or you can stray away. there's no telling the right way. [but I guess there's no telling the wrong way either] basically; all I'm saying is: Get the most out of your life. You only live it once, and you can't take back what you've already done. _______________________________________________________________________________________ &Through it all; How could you cry for me; Because I don't feel bad about it. so shut your eyes; Kiss me goodbye; AND SLEEP Just SLEEP THE HARDEST PART IS LETTING GO OF YOUR DREAMS _______________________________________________________________________________________ [will it work..?] [IMG]http://i131.photobucket.com/albums/p313/ambersaveslives/11GDAY.jpg[/IMG] I respect these guysss. :] with my wholeee life. Yeah; I changed because of these three. fourth grade: "Green Day. Yeah, my dad used to listen to them all the time. I guess I kinda grew up with them" fifth grade: "Uhm, yeah. I grew up with them. I guess I never really realized how amazing they are until last year/the beginning of this year. Hm.." SIXTH GRADE: "Growing up with them; sure, It was fun. I never knew though; How much those three guys would mean to me sometime after that. I would be proud to take a bullet for them. They've made a difference in my life with their inspiring lyrics and amazing talents" GREEN DAY > LIFE. hokayy? mhmm. These guys changed me, in a whole hearted and amazinggg way. yep; don't fuck with them. :D :D :D !! !!!! !!!!!!!! !!!! !! _______________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________ This just keeps going, doesn't it? Longest entry yet. ^_^ :] and to figure it; I'm not even done yet. >>>>>. .<<<<< ^they both mean the same thing, once you think about it. that's all it takes in this world Current Mood: energetic Current Music: FAMOUS LAST WORDS - MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE (Comment on this)
Monday, December 25th, 2006
10:36 pm	mhmm. yeshh; so today was funn. christmass was, i mean. everything else was just. shittish, i guess i could sayy. ahahahhh. i want to lose weight. is that so bad? seriouslyyy. now kiley's pissed off at meh. god; maybe being honest is a crime anymore. with nathan being mad about me not being perfect, with kiley being mad about me wanting to feel better about myself, with my parents being mad about me existing at all, with everybody. i guess right now everybody's mad at me? i'll call scott; because he's nice and makes me superr happy. =] meh. speaking of scott; paige called him. and talked to him for like 6 hours, as it seems. i'm debating calling him. i dunno anymore; trusting is so '05-ish. ewww; it's almost '07. nevermindddd. ahahahh. is it bad that i can't picture myself in about..a year? i have no idea; this year is going to be insane. 06 wass. godd. so much happened; so much changed. i dunno, really. who's going to be my friends; who's goimg to be my enemies; funny, those two take up the same amount of space for me. :/ ahahahh. honesty < shit. i swear to god. maybe lying is the best thing i can do. as "indesclosed names" said; I'm; "worthless and out of place" && "should die soon" mhmm, yep. amberrr feels great about herself right about now.. as for losing weigh; FUCK IT. i'll get fat. if that's what gets anybody satisfied. [trust me; i'm not going to get as tall as kiley anytime soon] FATNESS SUCKS. okayy? yeah. Current Mood: bitchy Current Music: Chris Daughty - It's Not Overr (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 20th, 2006
7:17 pm	TO SOULMATE. awwww; let me sayy. I WANT TO MARRY KILEY. because you know why? she's pretty amazing, and is putting up with thiz stuff better than anybody would. kileyy; i love you. okay? seriously, you're like the most amazing person i've EVER met. AND YOU ARE MY NEW MATE, OKAY? [no, you're not single] mhmm. alrightyy; yes. wow; i read your myspace bulletin, dearest. =] wowwwwzaaaa. god; i don't know what i'd do without you. really. okay; and i know this is crazy; but pleaseeee. don't be bffz wiff nicole everrr; just me and taylor. because you guys are pretty much the most amazing people i've ever met; especially you kiley. god; i dunno. i ask myself where i'd be without you, and i say, "God...FUCK. I don't know" kileyyy; you've seriously changed me. i went from being the biggest nerd in the world;; to being friends with you. ahahh; goddddddd. wowww. okay; when you were friends with nicole, like, bffz, it was good. you were a SHITLOAD of fun to be with. but;; when i was at your house with taylor and you guys were mad at nicole, and taylor got us sick, that was like....uberr' amazing, as you would say. god; i dunno. you two are seriously the most fun in the world to be with; and I never want to let go of that, because nicole wouldn't allow it. (no offense to nicole, i have nothing against her) god kiley. you have changed. i met you when you were blonde and preppy. now look at you. wwowwwww. you've dyed your hair; changed your style; become a shitload nicer/more understanding; but most of all; you became the most amazing person i've ever met in my entire lifetime. god; kiley. my depression was SHIT. but;; you just helped me through it. you were the only one who had faith in me. the only one to talk to me. the only one who didn't give up on me. kiley; i'd be DEAD without you. i pretty much owe you my life. alright? so if you EVER EVER feel sad; then don't be. look at you. kiley; you are given things some people would kill for. beauty compassion understanding amazing-ness. (lawlz) the ability to not give up. you have a pretty rad family; even though ben's a faggot. [sometimes] and you've got some amazing friends, might i say. i lub yewww. reallyy. never ever change. unless it's fer teh better. but that's gonna be hard. cuz yer kinda already perfect. ^_^ Current Mood: enthralled Current Music: Move Along - AAR (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, August 12th, 2006
1:19 am	Questions. am i not worth your fucking time. thanks for making me feel apart of the crowd. i'm sick and tired of this shit. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, August 10th, 2006
10:55 pm	am i not worth your time. it sure as heck don't seem like it. this is meant for more than one person. just give me the truth from now on...mmkay to all? (Comment on this)
1:39 pm	Falling.Down. your a lying brute. and i hate you. you promised me. 3 months ago. now...9 fucking days before you completed the promise. something comes up. and i lost that time with you. and you lost the friendship with me. Current Music: none. (Comment on this)
Thursday, August 3rd, 2006
11:14 pm	Tell.Me.The.Truth. Don't worry about me. Go fucking worry about yourself. It's all about you now, isn't it? This fucking thing everyone calls life completely sucks. I hate you all. Just tell me the truth. I'm done with fucking lies. It's pissing me off. I'm tired of this shit. I'm done with it. It's over. Just leave me be, and won't you see. This is me. Current Mood: depressed Current Music: whatever. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
10:42 pm	This.Person. I'm sorry for any future cursing, humiliation, or anything bad towards anyone. I'm in a really fucking bad mood. And it just got worse. Here goes. I hate this person. This person is my friend. This person only thinks about herself and another one of her popular friends. The only time this person EVER thinks about me or one of her "unpopular" friends, is when the popular friend goes with to hang out or something. Popularity < Christian. In fact, Christian doesn't even think about popularity. Yeah. I'm pissed. Not a hint. Not a clue. NOTHING. After every fucking phone call, and every fucking conversation..I'm done. This is the last straw. I'm beginning to be more laid back. But I'm done. Just fucking sick of being treated like dirt. Not cared about. Misunderstood. And fucking insane. I'm done. Sinse nobody can understand. If I don't call you, deal with it. If I don't reply on msn, fuck it. If I never speak to you again, you're just not that important. Stop your fucking lying and tell me the fucking truth. Or...will talking to me hurt your fucking reputation? This is gay. I was depressed for more than one thing. And it's time I clear up the bad in my life. No..I'm not done complaining. No more of this fucking life. No more of this. I'm through with you. You fucking terrorize me. I hate anyone who just wants to please you. It's been me here all along. Yet it's who who's been wrong. Do you only like me because I can play the drums? Apparently so. Go fucking die. What a waste of my life. Alright? Current Mood: pissed off Current Music: Grenade Jumper - Fall Out Boy (1 Comment |Comment on this)
6:02 pm	Defeat. He likes me. Again. I know it. I can't say I'm mad that he does, I'm actually kind of happy. But I'm sad he can never be mine. Yet, I'm happy he'll never be mine. Because HE was my depression. Because of him, I suffered. For..Him? It wasn't worth it. He wasn't worth it. But..Somehow.. I don't regret it. Not at all. But..He does? Why..I don't know. I'm human. Yet he thinks I'm greater than God. I'm deep. Yet he thinks I'm shallow. I'm smart. Yet he thinks I'm not cerebral. I'm definate. Yet he thinks it's all not decided. I'm alone. Yet he thinks we're together. I hate him. Yet he thinks I love him. He thinks I'll tell him anything. Yet I've got everything to hide. He thinks I'm a poser. Yet I'm being myself. He thinks I'm out of my mind. Yet I'm sure I'm not. He thinks he's everything I've ever wanted. Yet I want better than him. He thinks I'm a punk poser. Yet this is my mind. And With it, I say no. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 2nd, 2006
10:12 am	Promise. So many tears shed. So much left of hopelessness. So much loss of faith. So much less emotion. Wondering why I cried at night. Yes-It's called depression. And it left me Last night. So much I've gone through- Too much I've seen. Why not a normal girl? Just in between. Life's harsh and cruel. Suicidal and Insane. But I pass these things by. Do you yet understand? My depression has left. Gone..from theft. Who has stolen it. Only I will know. Yes, times will get bad. And life will be unbearable, Overwhelming, and persistant. Hell will end as you seek no revenge. Defeat the depression, Like so few have. But as I'm proud to say, It's out of the way. And I live today Without regret. No sorrow, no pain. Watching it fucking rain. It's almost the end..of another day. It's the end..of my falling rain. My cloudy days. Current Mood: complacent Current Music: All-American Rejects - Move ALong. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, July 31st, 2006
11:21 pm	Okay. So...I got off to a bad start..as you know. Yeah. That deep depression.. OUT THE FUCKING WINDOW. Welcome to my new life. I just want to thank Kiley.. Who introduced me. To the real me. I owe it all to you. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: I've had to deal with alot of depression issues lately -<|x.Amber Colton.x|>-NickelbackSept.12! says: yeah. so have i. -<|x.Amber Colton.x|>-NickelbackSept.12! says: mainly my own. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: gillian is sad, really sad. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: she's sad .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: im trying to decide what im actually DOING -<|x.Amber Colton.x|>-NickelbackSept.12! says: dude. she sounds like she's actually depressed. like......bigtime. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: amber, that's what you sounded like. -<|x.Amber Colton.x|>-NickelbackSept.12! says: it is?! .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: amber this is part of your livejournal entry, .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: i thought about starting smoking. but i decided not to because it'd ruin my life. then i thought i was being to easy on myself for a punishment to myself, so i stuck a needle on my skin...where the burn is. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: you can NOT tell me that you didn't sound depressed. -<|x.Amber Colton.x|>-NickelbackSept.12! says: holy shit. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: and... .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: i've thought about suicide many times, and i'm only saved because of music and my friends. i think i've gone a little insane. and i think that i need therapy. i get in trouble alot for speaking my opinions. i hate my life. and sometimes i hate everyone in it -<|x.Amber Colton.x|>-NickelbackSept.12! says: dude. -<|x.Amber Colton.x|>-NickelbackSept.12! says: that last one scares me. -<|x.Amber Colton.x|>-NickelbackSept.12! says: "i hate my life. and sometimes i hate everyone in it." -<|x.Amber Colton.x|>-NickelbackSept.12! says: holy shit. i can't believe i said that. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: see, this is what everyone felt like when you were depressed. -<|x.Amber Colton.x|>-NickelbackSept.12! says: um......wow. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: look at how scared rachel was, -<|x.Amber Colton.x|>-NickelbackSept.12! says: *dead silence, deep thoughts* .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: Wow. My dear, you are depressed to the extreme, and quite frankly, I am worried. YOU ARE NOT WORTHLESS. YOU NEED HELP. YOU NEED TO KNOW THAT PEOPLE DO CARE ABOUT YOU IMMENSLY. You have a life worth living for. Hate shouldn't be apart of this, really. You know your problems, well then fix them. Don't quit and say you're tired; quite frankily I am WORRIED OVER YOU AMBER. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: Do me a favor. Pick a flower and for one moment, allow that peace, that calm feeling, to come over you. Boys aren't worth it. Mmkay? You know you are stong enough to admit these fears, these harsh problems that are effecting you so do what you must to fix them. Please, never ever give up. Ever ever ever ever ever! .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: I'm afraid for a girl I haven't really known. But be pleasent; controlled. You mustn't fail. You can do this. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: you scared us, I was beyond worried about you .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: when you said "you saved my life" on msn, I started sobbing dead on. i love you amber. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: all of us got so scared that we were about to tell someone and try to help you but we never did .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: I'm really proud of you for never giving up, Amber, you accomplished it. You're amazing now, your , your old self. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: You faught the battle, and never gave up. -<|x.Amber Colton.x|>-NickelbackSept.12! says: kiley.... -<|x.Amber Colton.x|>-NickelbackSept.12! says: i don't even know what to say .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: i know, but you should be proud of yourself. -<|x.Amber Colton.x|>-NickelbackSept.12! says: now that i think about it....... -<|x.Amber Colton.x|>-NickelbackSept.12! says: i am. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: amber you fought depression, and you WON. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: that really never happends .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: you've fought for months, and now it's over. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: Are you proud? .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: I am proud. -<|x.Amber Colton.x|>-NickelbackSept.12! kiley.you.are.fucking.amazing. says: DUDE. i'm fucking celebrating now. -<|x.Amber Colton.x|>-NickelbackSept.12! kiley.you.are.fucking.amazing. says: i've been depressed ever sinse christian -<|x.Amber Colton.x|>-NickelbackSept.12! kiley.you.are.fucking.amazing. says: and now he's gone. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: yes. -<|x.Amber Colton.x|>-NickelbackSept.12! kiley.you.are.fucking.amazing. says: just like the depression. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: amber do me a favor? -<|x.Amber Colton.x|>-NickelbackSept.12! kiley.you.are.fucking.amazing. says: anything. -<|x.Amber Colton.x|>-NickelbackSept.12! kiley.you.are.fucking.amazing. says: for what you did.....anything at all .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: go to your parents and hug them and tell them your sorry .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: they would appreciate that. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: let them know that YOU-ARE-BETTER now. -<|x.Amber Colton.x|>-NickelbackSept.12! kiley.you.are.fucking.amazing. says: dude. i will. -<|x.Amber Colton.x|>-NickelbackSept.12! kiley.you.are.fucking.amazing. says: thank you .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: no, thank you. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: amber, you beat it. -<|x.Amber Colton.x|>-NickelbackSept.12! kiley.you.are.fucking.amazing. says: and it's never coming back. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: exactly. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: you have me and everyone else. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: you've gone through so many fights. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: you've cried so many tears .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: you've written so many songs .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: ...it's all over now. -<|x.Amber Colton.x|>-NickelbackSept.12! kiley.you.are.fucking.amazing. says: the dark times are once again, gone. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: exactly. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: live-forever. -<|x.Amber Colton.x|>-NickelbackSept.12! kiley.you.are.fucking.amazing. says: god. now i finally realize what HELL he gave me. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: yes. -<|x.Amber Colton.x|>-NickelbackSept.12! kiley.you.are.fucking.amazing. says: now i want to get revenge on him.... -<|x.Amber Colton.x|>-NickelbackSept.12! kiley.you.are.fucking.amazing. says: yet, i don't want to mess with him. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: don't. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: just forget about him .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: he's just the past that ruined everything. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: he's in the past. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: you are present now, live it. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: live it like you just started over. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: Amber, welcome to your new life. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: start over. -<|x.Amber Colton.x|>-NickelbackSept.12! kiley.you.are.fucking.amazing. says: kiley....thank you for introducing me to my new life. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: that's what I did. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: your welcome .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: I started over, and changed into a whole new person. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: Now you can too, .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: depression and sadness free. -<|x.Amber Colton.x|>-NickelbackSept.12! kiley.you.are.fucking.amazing. says: forever. it's the past. never again. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 says: never-again. -<|x.Amber Colton.x|>-NickelbackSept.12! kiley.you.are.fucking.amazing. says: never ever. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: again. -<|x.Amber Colton.x|>-NickelbackSept.12! kiley.you.are.fucking.amazing. says: done with the drama. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: it's in the past. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: welcome to your new life. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: now live it fully. -<|x.Amber Colton.x|>-NickelbackSept.12! kiley.you.are.fucking.amazing. says: i will. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: you have one life. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: only one. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: don't waste it on him or depression. -<|x.Amber Colton.x|>-NickelbackSept.12! kiley.you.are.fucking.amazing. says: i won't. ever. he's gone. he wants me back, that's his fucking problem. too damn bad. and.......i'm going to be laid back....and understanding. kinda more quiet.....yet, the same old tre' cool loving me. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: thank goodness. -<|x.Amber Colton.x|>-NickelbackSept.12! kiley.you.are.fucking.amazing. says: i can't beleive HE made me stop liking tre' for like a month. -<|x.Amber Colton.x|>-NickelbackSept.12! kiley.you.are.fucking.amazing. says: *shoots christian* .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: i know. -<|x.Amber Colton.x|>-NickelbackSept.12! kiley.you.are.fucking.amazing. says: *watches TRE shoot christian* .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: you know what scares me to death? -<|x.Amber Colton.x|>-NickelbackSept.12! kiley.you.are.fucking.amazing. says: hm? .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: when you were depressedd and stopped being my friend for like a month and was abotu yto kill yourself, i had your funeral planned out. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: I NEVER want you to act like that again. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: Please Amber. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: I beg of you. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: Stay happy .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: Live .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: Forever. .Amber.Colton. NeverAgain says: when i die. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: yes. .Amber.Colton. NeverAgain says: if it's from suicide. .Amber.Colton. NeverAgain says: ....then. .Amber.Colton. NeverAgain says: please. don't be sad. just remember i fucking tried. .Amber.Colton. NeverAgain says: but... .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: amber, .Amber.Colton. NeverAgain says: NeverAgain. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: don't even think about that anymore. .Amber.Colton. NeverAgain says: i won't. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: it's in the past. .Amber.Colton. NeverAgain says: never. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: never-ever. .Amber.Colton. NeverAgain says: the past is no longer present. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: live life fully. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: exactly. .Amber.Colton. NeverAgain says: it was a lesson i had to learn the hard way. .Amber.Colton. NeverAgain says: and that way... .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: yes. .Amber.Colton. NeverAgain says: god. i'm so glad i'm alive. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: as am i. .Amber.Colton. NeverAgain says: if and when i die....(before you die) don't be sad. no depression. that's not how i'm going to die, that's not how you or taylor or ANYONE i know is. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: yes. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: die with your husband. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: die of happiness, or of old-age. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: anything but suicide. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: you are way better than that. .Amber.Colton. NeverAgain says: everyone's way better than that. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: yes. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: now change your life and make it better. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: go tell your parents you are sorry for the pain that you've caused, and that you're a better person now. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: oh and don't freak out if your mom cries. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: my mom did. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: :/ .Amber.Colton. NeverAgain says: i will. .Amber.Colton. NeverAgain says: uh...creepy. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: i know. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: but you would too if you were in their position. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: I know you would. .Amber.Colton. NeverAgain says: i know i would too. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: now go tell then. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: tehm. .Amber.Colton. NeverAgain says: k.....brb .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: ok .Amber.Colton. NeverAgain -BeRightBackSavingMyMothersLife- says: KILEY! .Amber.Colton. NeverAgain -BeRightBackSavingMyMothersLife- says: holyshitwtf..omg .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: yes? .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: what? .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: WHAT? .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: !!?!?!? .Amber.Colton. NeverAgain -BeRightBackSavingMyMothersLife- says: my mom...was taking depression pills...for MY pain! .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: o my god. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: did you tell her .Amber.Colton. NeverAgain -BeRightBackSavingMyMothersLife- says: she said she was so afraid of what i was doing. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: amber, is your dad home? .Amber.Colton. NeverAgain -BeRightBackSavingMyMothersLife- says: yes. he's like.....almost crying. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: aww =( .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: what did you say? .Amber.Colton. NeverAgain -BeRightBackSavingMyMothersLife- says: me: mom. dad. i'm so sorry. i know i've caused you guys pain and worriment. but it's over. i'm done with that crap. i'm tired of it. my dad: hun..i went through the same thing. me: yeah...i'm changing. no more snobbish "i want this" becoming more like you, dad. i love you. mom: hun...i've never been through this. it was all okay when i was your age. guys were bad, and girls were....well, girls. me: never. never again. i promise. this is the new me. forget the past, this is the present. dad: yes.... mom: *tears* good. dad: who gave you this idea? me: kiley. dad: thank the lord. your friends are amazing, amber. they are ALWAYS there for you. we've even noticed that. mom: hun.......never again. me: i swear. i love you guys. sorry...and thanks again. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: oh shit i have tears in my eyes .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: heh. .Amber.Colton. NeverAgain -BeRightBackSavingMyMothersLife- says: dude. i'm crying. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: im so glad your better. .Amber.Colton. NeverAgain -BeRightBackSavingMyMothersLife- says: god.....i'm so amazing i'm better. .Amber.Colton. NeverAgain -BeRightBackSavingMyMothersLife- says: this is my greatest -by far- of accomplishments. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: exactly. .Amber.Colton. NeverAgain -BeRightBackSavingMyMothersLife- says: i'm amazed at myself. for the first time ever. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: im prolyl gonna be hugged when i go voer to your house..am i correct? .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: lol Amber...NeverAgain. says: dude. probably. .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: hehe .:.Kiley+Justyn.:.<3 NeverAgain. says: im glad your better amber. Amber...NeverAgain. says: omg me too. Amber...NeverAgain. says: tomorrow. celebrate. God. I'm being more positive. No more sadness. None. Sadness..Goodbye. It's over. The bad times are done. And I live on. Without regret and sorrow. The way we should all live. From Now Until Forever. Amazed. At myself. If you EVER feel depressed. Talk to me, your best friend, your mom, your boss..FUCKING ANYONE! Nobody..NOBODY AT ALL, deserves to deal with the shit some people do. Don't think it's your fault. .Don't.Resolve.To.Suicide.No.Matter.What. Suicide isn't the way. Depression hurts. Defeat it, just like I did. Be above me. Don't even DEAL with that shit. Please. You all deserve so well. You all deserve so much better than you're getting, but you don't always get what you want. Forgive, Forget. Never Reret. Current Mood: Amazed. Current Music: Move Along - All American Rejects (2 Comments |Comment on this)